Searching the Heart

Over the last four years of homeschooling, I have struggled to fight against the urge to teach as the schools do. For one thing it is the only method I’ve ever known and for another that was the way I was educated for 16 years. It is hard to break established habits. But as I look at mainstream education models more closely I see they are short-sighted — they only demand an accumulation of knowledge. Knowledge must involve the heart or else it “puffs up”. We train the mind only to prick the heart and point us to God. Instead of filling up more worksheets we converse more and we reflect and record our learning into our notebooks. We might still use the same books and learn the same subjects, but now they are just tools for discipleship rather than something we have to finish at year end. Although we test our children in their knowledge of math, grammar and spelling, we also test their character:

1. Do they finish what they start?

2. Do they persevere through a tough problem or give up?

3. When they are assigned work, do they obey without challenge, without delay, and without excuse?

4. Do they do their work orderly and with their best writing? (thereby showing good stewardship)

I also have to work on my attitude towards my children. Many times a day, my son exhibits many behaviors and most of them are rooted in selfishness (which is a sin issue) and rigidity (which stems from his autism). Most of the time I am patient but there are days where I get easily annoyed by his repetitive questions, rebellious attitude, and acting unkind towards his sister. My attitude is many times only inward and only results in frustration and anger. That anger then leads to escalation of his behaviors which results in missed opportunities for heart training.

So now, through God’s grace, I’m working on looking at each infraction as an opportunity for teaching and self-control. Though I may be tired, I will speak calmly and try to teach him a more godly behavior if only by example. I am finding that this is the best way to get through to his heart. It also answers one of the questions in my prayer; How do you teach an autistic child wisdom? One soft spoken word at a time through the work of the Holy Spirit.